Fundraising

My six-year old daughter is fundraising.  Not for Girl Scouts or Ballet Club or for her school.  She’s fundraising for herself – for a four-poster bed to be precise.  Too many princess movies?  To be sure.  Maybe partially my fault, as well.  As a parent you try to instill some work ethic in a child, tell them set yourself a target, work hard, save up for it, and then you’ll appreciate it so much more knowing you paid for it yourself.  Just another parenting tactic that comes back to bite you in the ass.

Because this kid is for real, and she’s not going to let me rest until she’s sleeping like a princess.  This was the precise conversation we had when I picked her up from school yesterday:

Her:  Mom, how many kids am I allowed to have over to the house at the same time?
Me:  Why?
Her:  Because I need to have at least five over so we can practice.  I’m making a band.
Me:  A band?
Her:  You know, like a rock band.  So we can raise money for my four-poster bed.
Me:  Uh-huh.  And have you guys booked any gigs yet?
Her:  No.  We have to practice first.
Me:  Maybe I could help you think of some other ways to raise money?
Her:  Well I’ve thought of some other ways.  Like maybe I can stand under the tree in the front yard and sing.  And I’ll put a bucket beside me so people can give me money.
Me:  Honey, we live in the country.  We’ve got a mountain on one side and sheep on the other, I don’t think you’re going to get a lot of passing trade.
Her:  Well, I’ve also made a swear jar.  You and the boys have to give me 10 pence every time you say a swear word.
Me:  Now that might actually be a good little earner…

And so it went, until we finally agreed on a few, slightly more realistic, things she can do this weekend to raise some money.  I will now spend more time today than it would take me to build a four-poster bed from scratch baking cupcakes, making greeting cards, and putting price tags on every item in her bedroom.  I just hope that our friends and neighbors are feeling generous.

So go the lessons of parenthood – we have set a target, worked out how to achieve it, and will work tirelessly until we do so (well she will, anyway).  Now for another lesson of parenthood – how do you tell your child that there isn’t a room in your house big enough to accommodate the bed she has chosen as her target??